Yesterday marked the 6 year anniversary of losing my Nana. She was such a blessing to this world, and I am truly grateful to have known and loved her.
My Nana [Ellen] was 61 years old when she died, and personally, I just don't think that is very old. She passed away from a rare disease, called pseudomonis aeruginosa, that was slowly killing her. She also contracted an E. Coli infection that went into her lungs. It was heartbreaking. I remember when my mom came to me and told me what was going to happen. I think I was 16 around that time, just a senior in high school. It was a lot to comprehend at the time. I had just lost a close aunt of mine to cardiac arrest and now I was more than likely going to lose my Nana. It was so hard to wrap my head around. To be completely honest, I was pretty mad at God for awhile. It took some time for me to see that fact that He does everything for a reason & for everything there is a purpose. I'm still not quite sure what that purpose it, but it definitely made me realize that I shouldn't take anything for granted. I thank God everyday for who I have in my life, hoping that they stay in my life.
Nana would have wanted us to rejoice that she was no longer suffering and was now with her Maker in heaven. And I just know she is looking down on us now 6 years later, smiling from ear to ear.
Nana was such a beautiful person, both inside and out. She had this huge bubbly personality that just radiated happiness. She could put a smile on anyone's face. Nana was always putting others first, way before herself and she was just the most selfless person I have ever met.
And talk about a Godly woman. She is the prime example of one. Always putting her trust in God without missing a beat, never faltering, and constantly showing God's love to those around her.
She was also a fantastic wife, mother, and grandmother.
She was everything a mother/grandmother should be. Loving, tender, caring, supportive. She never raised her voice and she never ran out of patience. She was perfect in every way.
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| Nana & Papa (and I'm in my Papa's arms) |
I don't have too many memories of family vacations without Nana in them. She was always tagging along on the majority of our trips, and I loved her for it. She always wanted to be such a big part of my life, and I am so glad, especially since we lost her so early. I have such wonderful memories that I will hold on to and treasure forever.
She called me her Angel from day 1 of my newborn life. And she called T her Princess.
Nana was always buying me little Angel trinkets and anything that reminded me that I was HER angel.
Even to this day, anytime I see an angel something or other, I usually have to stop and look at it. It's a little bit of an obsession I think. Especially at Christmas time. I want to buy EVERY angel I see.
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| Nana and her sisters with me. (Nana is on the far right) |
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| Awkward stage alert. |
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| Another awkward stage alert...obviously a major tomboy. |
She and I were so close, and she was a huge supporter of me in so many areas, especially academically. I would give anything to have her here today, for many reasons, but one of them being to see what I'm accomplishing in my education.
She would also have LOVED Eric. I mean, LOVED. They would have been best friends. I definitely know she has approved of my choice :)
Nana was always up for anything. She had such a great sense of humor and loved a little adventure every now and then. Her laugh was the most wonderful sound. I can still remember it. Her laugh came from deep within and it just made everyone smile. Her smile lit up a room and she was loved by so many. Especially me. I adored her.
This may be a little too personal for your liking, but I will go ahead and tell you anyways. The night my Nana died, I was actually in her ICU room. It was me, my Papa, my mom, and my uncle Phil. I stood there at the foot of her bed when she took her last breath. And I remember looking around at everyone crying [including me] and the first person I reached for was my Papa. I needed him to know that he had people to lean on. So we stood there with our arms around each other for awhile and everything else was such a blur. I don't remember much more, not even walking out of the hospital. I just remember my Papa & I in an embrace, the bond that we shared, and the look on everyone's faces once my Nana left the earthly world. I know now that she is in a better place and that she is probably putting smiles on everyones faces up in heaven. She sure was good at that.
Nana was truly an amazing woman. She was perfect. So many things remind me of her. And sometimes I long to talk to her and tell her about my day. But I know she wouldn't want me to be sad about her leaving. She would want to me be happy that I got to spend the time with her that I did, and happy that she is no longer in pain.
I love and miss you so much Nana!
Love,
Your angel :)
